The Healing Process
by SwanQueenAddict
Summary: Kate receives some rather upsetting news - Kibbs
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Don't own the characters. But if I did, Kate would definitely still be alive…

**/ x-x-x /**

Kate looked down at her phone as it began to ring.

"Hello?" she answered. "Speaking" she replied. Kate listened to the person on the other end. The phone slipped from her fingers causing it to crash down on her desk. She buried her head in her hands and burst out crying.

"Kate?" Gibbs called looking over at her. Gibbs looked over at Tony who shrugged and raised his arms.

"I didn't do anything" he said.

"I… ah… I have to go to the hospital" Kate said trying to locate her keys on her desk. She quickly grabbed her bag and walked to the lift.

"Kate!" Gibbs cried quickly grabbing his jacket and raced after her. "Are you ok?" he asked placing a hand on her arm.

"My mum has just died. I need to go to the hospital" Kate blinked through the tears and continued for the lift.

"Kate…" Gibbs said still following her. "I'll drive" he said snatching her keys off her and entered the lift after her.

"I am capable of driving my own motor vehicle" Kate frowned.

"I know, but your upset and I'm worried that you won't be concentrating on driving. I don't want to get a phone call saying you've run off the road and found in a ditch badly hurt" Gibbs muttered.

"Gibbs, I…" Kate paused overwhelmed with emotion.

"We can discuss this later" Gibbs smiled as the lift doors open and he walked out.

"My car is over here Gibbs" Kate said heading towards her Mazda sedan.

"I'm driving" Gibbs said moving towards his yellow and black Challenger R/T. Kate shrugs and follows him to his car. Gibbs quickly opens the door for Kate, once she is settled in the seat Gibbs closes the door and races around to the other side.

**x-x-x**

The car ride to the hospital was silent but comfortable. Gibbs parked the car and followed Kate into the hospital. He patiently waited beside Kate as she asked for her mother's room. The nurse gave Kate directions and they set off.

"I'll wait outside" Gibbs said spotting a few chairs across the hall once they arrived at the correct room.

"Ok" Kate nodded. "Oh and Gibbs…" she paused.

"Yeah" Gibbs said waiting for Kate to continue.

"Thanks for driving me here" she smiled.

"No problem, I'm glad you didn't drive. At least I don't have to look for a new profiler. No one is as good as you" Gibbs rambled.

"Ah huh" Kate muttered and disappeared into the room. _'Idiot!! Why not tell her the truth!'_ Gibbs cursed.

"Gibbs" Kate said shaking his shoulder fifteen minutes later.

"Ahhh… what?" Gibbs asked sitting up and looked around.

"You fell asleep" Kate giggled.

"I did? Oh I'm sorry" Gibbs apologised rubbing his face.

"It's fine" Kate smiled faintly.

"How are you?" he asked looking across at Kate.

"Ah, alright" she lied.

"Want to go?" Gibbs asked looking around searching for Kate's family.

"Yes please" Kate nodded getting to her feet. Gibbs got up and walked beside Kate down the hall. Reaching the car, Gibbs unlocked it and opened the door for Kate. "Thanks" she mumbled climbing in.

"You're welcome" Gibbs smiled in return and moved to the driver's side. "Home?" he asked turning on the engine.

"Ah, I'd rather not" Kate answered.

"Right" Gibbs nodded exiting the car park.

"Where are we going?" Kate frowned glancing across at Gibbs.

"Somewhere where you can relax" Gibbs replied.

"Not work!" Kate cried.

"Not work" Gibbs repeated. Kate leaned back in the chair and let out a sigh. For the rest of the trip, Kate sat silently staring out the window. "We are here" Gibbs announced forty minutes later.

"And where is here?" Kate frowned looking up at the two storey house.

"Home" Gibbs smiled turning off the engine and got out. He rushed around and opened the car door for her. Kate smiled faintly as she got out and slowly walked up the path to the front door. "It's not locked" Gibbs called from the car. Kate glanced over her shoulder as she reached for the handle. Turning it, she found Gibbs was right. Pushing back the door, Kate stepped into his house and looked around from the entrance. Gibbs soon entered his house and closed the door behind him.

"Would you like a drink or anything to eat?" Gibbs offered hanging up his jacket and walked through to the kitchen.

"I'm fine" Kate replied. Moving across to the couch Kate sat down and dug her phone from her bag hearing it beep constantly. "Oh Abby" Kate sighed staring at her phone.

"What's happened?" Gibbs asked rushing back into the room.

"Oh nothing. Twenty missed called and ten text messages" Kate said laughing slightly.

"Right" Gibbs nodded and quickly moved back to the kitchen to grab his mug of coffee.

"So where is this famous boat?" Kate asked after Gibbs sat down next to her.

"In the basement" Gibbs answered taking a sip. "Would you like to see it?" he asked seeing Kate still staring at him.

"Yes please" she smiled.

"This way my dear" Gibbs said getting to his feet and held out his arm. Kate smiled faintly and wrapped her hand around his arm. He led her through the kitchen and to a shut door. Gibbs quickly flicked the switch, Kate let go and stared in awe at the frame of the boat.

"You built that??" she gasped.

"Indeed I did" Gibbs said.

"You done good" Kate said walking down the stairs and towards the boat. "Oh my…" she paused feeling the smoothness of the wood.

"Hand tools" Gibbs explained taking another sip of his coffee.

"I know… you like to use your hands" Kate laughed finishing his sentence. "Do you smoke?" she asked looking around the room.

"Smoke?" Gibbs frowned confused.

"Yeah, do you smoke?" Kate asked again moving across to the work bench. She picked it up and smelt it. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs!!" Kate cried.

"I can explain!" Gibbs said lunging forward.

"Do you have a light?" Kate asked licking her lips.

"What?" Gibbs muttered.

"Do you have a light?" Kate asked again holding up the joint.

"I don't think that's such a good idea" Gibbs frowned.

"Oh alright" Kate sighed placing it back down. "Gibbs…" Kate stopped. He glanced up at her making her heart catch in her throat. "I just wanted to thank you" she whispered.

"What for?" Gibbs queried.

"For everything. Taking me to the hospital, bringing me back here and making me forget what happened today" Kate smiled faintly putting on her brave face as she wiped her eyes. Gibbs stared at her then moved forward and pulled out his lighter. "Really?" Kate squeaked.

"Just once" Gibbs warned.

"Shall do" Kate grinned grabbing the joint and put it to the lighter.

"Whoa… Kate slow down!" Gibbs cried seeing Kate take several deep puffs.

"Nothing can upset me Gibbs, I feel _numb_!!!!" Kate replied staring at him. He sighed and moved across to the bench to place down his half empty mug. "Want some?" Kate asked holding it out for Gibbs.

"No" Gibbs said shaking his head. He picked up his sanding tool and moved across to the section of his boat he was working on. A while later, Kate appeared by his side. "Why don't you have some?" Kate questioned.

"I'm fine" he said glancing across at her.

"Please?" Kat begged.

"Alright, if it'll shut you up" Gibbs groaned as Kate held it up to his mouth. He stumbled back coughing and walked to his coffee to clear his throat.

"Great isn't it?" Kate grinned moving towards him."Oooh your eyes are sooo big and blue!!" Kate cooed.

"Aren't they always?" Gibbs queried staring at Kate.

"I suppose, but they are even bigger now" Kate said turning her head slightly.

"You're high" Gibbs frowned pushing her out of the way.

"Am not!!" she argued. Gibbs stepped forward and rested his hands on her hip. "Ok, maybe I am" she giggled. "Oh my god Gibbs!" Kate gasped feeling his biceps.

"What?" he frowned staring at her.

"Your arms… are soo big and strong!!!" Kate smiled looking up at him.

"Well…" Gibbs smiled proudly. Kate stared at him then grabbed his collar and pulled him close to kiss his lips. "Kate" he mumbled. "What…what are you doing?" he asked as Kate stopped kissing him. Her hands travel down his stomach and untucked his shirt from his trousers. Gibbs gasped as Kate's cold hands touched his skin.

"Sorry" she apologised as she traced his defined abs and chest. Gibbs cupped her head in his hand and pulled her closer to his lips. He gently kissed her lips then pulled his head away. Kate's face lit up into a big grin as her hands once again moved down and began to undo his belt and trouser. She let them fall to the ground and she burst out laughing.

"What?" He shouted looking down then back up at Kate.

"Pink boxers?" Kate asked.

"It's all I had this morning" he shrugged.

"Sure" she nodded laughing uncontrollably.

"Fine Kate, no more nice guy" He growled grabbing her shoulders and shoved her against the wall.

"You're hurting me" Kate moaned.

"I don't care" he shrugged. He stared down at her, Gibbs pushed her fringe out of the way and he leant down to kiss her. All he could think about was how much he wanted screw Kate and make her scream out.

**x-x-x**

**A/N: **Maybe it is a bit unbeleivable, to continue or not continue??


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kate opened her eyes and focused on the unfamiliar room.

"Morning" he groaned beside her. Kate's heart began to race as she shoulder over her shoulder and down at her boss. "What's wrong?" Gibbs frowned getting up and leaned on his elbow.

"I…I don't know what I'm doing here" Kate whispered.

"You don't remember about last night?" Gibbs questioned. Kate stared at him as it all came flooding back. Gibbs towering over her, feeling him inside her, his warm passionate kisses, his arms wrapped around her comforting her and finally falling asleep in his arms.

"I…" Kate stopped as the tears swelled in her eyes.

"What is it??" Gibbs frowned pulling her up. Kate quickly grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around her.

"My mum is dead" she sobbed.

"I know" Gibbs nodded.

"She is never going to meet her grandchildren, or see me get married or reach her 60th birthday" Kate mumbled covering her face.

"Shhhh" Gibbs soothed as he gently put his arm around her and rubbed her back.

"I can't believe she's gone" Kate sighed.

"I know this feels like the end but things will get better. In time it will get easier to smile again" Gibbs said.

"You don't know what I' going through!" Kate hissed pushing Gibbs away.

"Yes I do!" He shouted. "You're like your falling down a big black hole and it feels like it's never going to end. You can't imagine going on living without them and you push everyone away because it easier to forget than to remember" Gibbs frowned staring at her.

"How do…" Kate stopped.

"I've lost my girls" Gibbs whispered.

"Getting a divorce is hardly losing Gibbs" Kate snapped.

"I wasn't talking about my ex-wives Kate!" Gibbs growled jumping out of bed and moved across to the chest of draws to find some clothes. "Kate, I…" Gibbs sighed staring at her.

"About last night" Kate began.

"What about last night?" Gibbs interrupted turning around suddenly.

"I just want to make sure we are on the same page" Kate said.

"What do you mean by that?" Gibbs frowned as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

"It was just a one night stand. Didn't really man anything" Kate shrugged.

"You didn't enjoy last night?" Gibbs asked.

"I did, it's just… well you're my boss Gibbs. We both know nothing could ever happen" Kate laughed. Gibbs stared at her in shock. _'If you only get one chance to say it, say it now before Kate makes up her mind and walks out that door' _Gibbs told himself.

"Kate…" he paused taking a breath.

""Yes?" She smiled.

"I love you" Gibbs muttered. Kate stared at him then quickly got up and searched for her clothes on the ground. "Where are you going?" Gibbs asked.

"Home, this was a stupid idea coming back here yesterday" Kate said rushing out of the room and down the stairs.

"Kate!!" Gibbs called after her. "We need to talk about this" He said at the top of the stairs.

"There isn't anything to talk about! You're my boss, _this_…" Kate pointed back and forth "… could never happen" she continued.

"We can make it work" Gibbs pleaded slowly going down the steps.

"No it couldn't" Kate said turning her head away.

"Why can't we give it a go?" Gibbs asked standing in front of her.

"Because I don't feel the same" Kate mumbled and raced to the door. Gibbs fell to his knees as his heart pounded against his chest.

**x-x-x**

Weeks later, Gibbs saw Tony and Kate walk into the bullpen.

"Kate, can I have a word?" Gibbs asked staring at her and ignoring Tony's looks.

"Ah, sure" Kate nodded. Gibbs got up and walked behind the stairs. He began pacing up and down as he waited for Kate to catch up.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked as soon as she turned the corner.

"What do you mean?" Kate frowned confused.

"Ever since" Gibbs paused _'the greatest night of my life!'_ he thought. "That night, you've been acting weird" he continued.

"You tell me you love me and just expect I share the same feelings? I'm but I don't and I don't know what to do! You are my boss and that would just be wrong!!" Kate hissed looking around.

"You've really made up your mind haven't you" IGbbs sighed.

"I'm sorry Gibbs but there isn't anything I can do" Kate shrugged.

"No, that's fine. I understand" Gibbs laughed slightly and bumped her shoulder on the way past her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Early on Wednesday morning, Kate sat at her desk clutching onto her stomach. She glanced up as Gibbs entered the squad room and moved to his desk.

"Morning Kate" he smiled cheerfully.

"Morning" Kate mumbled covering her mouth and pushed back her chair to race to the bathroom.

"Kate?" Gibbs asked looking up from his desk. "Kate!" he called out rushing after her down the corridor. "Kate?!" he said knocking on the bathroom door guessing that's where she had run to. _'This is pointless!'_ Gibbs growled to himself digging out his phone from his pocket. He flipped it open and dialled the number he was searching for. _'Come on Abs, pick up!'_ Gibbs pleaded.

"_What's up bossman?"_ Abby answered.

"Where are you?" Gibbs asked.

"_Just about to get into the lift"_ Abby replied.

"Come straight to level three and meet me at the female toilets" Gibbs ordered.

"_What????"_ Abby laughed.

"Just do it!" Gibbs frowned.

"_Ok, I'll see you soon"_ Abby said hanging up. "What's the problem?" Abby asked breathlessly.

"I'm not sure. Kate rushed into the bathroom and she isn't answering" Gibbs shrugged.

"Probably because it's the female toilets!!" Abby shook her head pushing back the door and entered. "Kate?" she called out.

"I'm here" Kate sighed. Abby followed the sound of her voice to the last cubical. Abby gasped in shock to find Kate slumped over the toilet seat throwing up.

"Are you ok??" Abby asked kneeling down beside her friend.

"Yeah" Kate nodded looking over at Abby. "No" she sobbed.

"What's wrong?" Abby frowned placing her hand on Kate's back.

"I'm pregnant Abs" Kate whispered.

"Congratulations!" Abby grinned.

"This isn't a good thing!" Kate hissed.

"Why not!?" Abby asked confused.

"Because it was a stupid one night fling I had" Kate explained turning her head back to the toilet.

"So I take it the father doesn't know" Abby guessed.

"Correct" Kate coughed.

"When was this one night stand? And why did it happen! I know you Kate, you wouldn't just do something like that" Abby frowned.

"A month ago, the day my mother died" Kate mumbled tears swelling in her eyes. "I guess I got a little wasted cuz of the grief" Kate added.

"If you were wasted and it only was a one night stand I don't see why you're getting yourself all tangled in a knot. I'm sure he understands" Abby said.

"He won't" Kate replied shaking her head.

"Who is it Kate?" Abby questioned.

"I can't tell you" Kate sighed.

"Why not?" Abby frowned.

"I just can't!!" Kate growled.

"Are you going to keep the baby?" Abby asked changing the subject.

"I'm not sure" Kat shrugged. "Hang on, how do you know I was here?" Kate frowned glancing at the door remembering Gibbs calling her name as she ran away.

"When I arrived at work I got a call from Gibbs. I came straight up and he told me that you hid yourself in here. He's probably outside with his ear to the door" Abby laughed. "What's with the frown now?" Abby asked.

"Well how can he possibly want to keep me working here when I've got a baby on the way" Kate rambled straying from the real reason she was freaking out.

"Why are you so worried about what Gibbs might or might not do? It's early days" Abby said shaking her head.

"Yeah I guess" Kate nodded.

"Come on, we better get to work. I bet Tony will have a fit if he finds the bullpen empty and we all rock up late" Abby laughed thinking of Tony's face.

"He'd kick up a storm for sure!" Kate smiled relaxing a bit. Abby helped Kate to her feet and guided her over to the door. Gibbs scrambled back and leaned against the wall.

"You've been listening to every word, haven't you??" Abby asked pointing her finger at him.

"I'm worried for Kate" Gibbs replied.

"Did or did you not hear every word?" Kate asked.

"Yes I heard everything" Gibbs whispered looking down the hall at a couple of people approaching. Gibbs waited for them to pass before speaking. "I think you'll find you have work to be getting on with Abs" Gibbs ordered.

"Go easy on her" Abby frowned hurrying off to the back lift. Kate walked past Gibbs and headed for her desk. He quickly caught up, took a hold of her wrist and dragged her back.

"Is it mine?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Is what yours?" Kate frowned confused.

"The baby" Gibbs added quietly. Kate stared at him in surprise, he moved is finger to her chin and closed her jaw. "Well is it??" Gibbs demanded.

"Yes" Kate muttered yanking her wrist free.

"Don't walk away from me!" Gibbs yelled rushing after her.

"What do you want Gibbs?" Kate asked spinning around.

"I want to know what our future holds" Gibbs mumbled.

"What makes you think we have a future together?!" Kate frowned.

"I am the father of your child. I'm going to be a part of his or her life whether you like it or not!" Gibbs growled. Kate stared at him in awe; she smiled faintly at his persistent concern for her.

"I guess we need to sit down and talk about how we are going to make this work for our child" Kate said.

"Or we could make it even more easy and just be together" Gibbs suggested. Kate looked up at him then suddenly turned her head away. "Kate?" he called softly.

"I don't know Gibbs" Kate said chewing on her lip.

"Please Kate…" Gibbs paused pushing the hair from her face.

"Can we talk about this another time?" Kate asked. "Say at your house this afternoon?" Kate queried.

"Sure" Gibbs nodded as they walked back to the squad room.

**x-x-x**

**A/N:** How funny is this? I wrote most of this chapter before I even finished the first…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

At five o'clock Gibbs stood in front of Kate's desk.

"Yes?" she said looking up.

"Ready?" he asked.

"For…" Kate paused confused. Gibbs looked around the room before replying.

"Our chat" he mouthed quietly.

"Ah" Kate nodded. "Yeah, though I drove here so I'll follow you home?" Kate said.

"Sure, I even wrote instructions just in case we get separated" Gibbs smiled handing her a piece of paper. Kate smiled in return as she rose to her feet and quickly grabbed her bag.

**x-x-x**

Arriving at Gibbs' house, Kate parked behind Gibbs' car seeing him waiting at the door. She slowly got out and joined him on the veranda. Gibbs held open the door as Kate entered the house, she took off her coat and hung up it.

"Would you like anything to drink or eat?" Gibbs offered.

"Coffee thanks" Kate replied glancing around. Gibbs nodded and guided Kate over to the table then quickly disappeared into the kitchen. Five minutes later Gibbs came back out carrying two mugs. He placed one in front of Kate and occupied the seat on the opposite side of the table. "I guess we really need to work some things out" Kate said taking a quick sip.

"Yes" Gibbs argued. "Are you keeping the baby?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"That depends" Kate shrugged.

"Depending on what!" Gibbs shouted. "That is our child! Whether you like it or not, we are going rise it" Gibbs frowned.

"Calm down, I was kidding. I just wanted to know where you stand" Kate smiled.

"Why couldn't you just ask how I feel about it!" Gibbs snapped. Kate stared at him in shock and fear. "I'm sorry" Gibbs muttered staring down at his cup. "And if you repeat rule four to me I'll slap you!" Gibbs warning seeing Kate open her mouth.

"You would hit a woman?" Kate gasped jokingly. Gibbs laughed lightly and looked up at her. "That's better!" Kate smiled in return. "If we are going to have this conversation, we need to be thinking straight" Kate said.

"Yes. So…" Gibbs paused.

"How do you feel about all of this?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean?" Gibbs frowned.

"Well… about becoming a father to someone you aren't in a relationship" Kate shrugged.

"I'm the father and no matter what we decide, I'm going to be there for the child" Gibbs said. "Kate?" he called watching her drinking her coffee silently. "Something the matter?" he asked.

"Since, that night. A lot of things has changed" Kate said speaking minutes later.

"What sort of things?" Gibbs asked quietly with his heart racing.

"I've been watching you, like how you react around others. I hate myself for what I said to you. My affections towards you have changed considerably" Kate smiled faintly. Gibbs rose to his feet and moved to her side.

"So what you're trying to say is that you like me?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Yes" Kate nodded getting to her feet. She melted into Gibbs' embrace. Kate put her hands on the back of his head while kissing him.

"Gibbs" Kate said pulling her head away.

"What is it?" Gibbs frowned.

"You've got a scar on your head" Kate queried.

"Correct" he nodded.

"What from?" Kate asked.

"7 iron" Gibbs replied.

"Who in their right mind would want to hit you over the head with a golf club?" Kate shrieked.

"My ex-wife" Gibbs smiled.

"Right" Kate muttered. "Well you can rest assure that I will never hit you over the head with anything" Kate added smiling.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Gibbs questioned.

"Ah…" Kate paused. "Well it was always on the cards if we are going to be a family" Kate explained placing her hands on her stomach. Gibbs smiled faintly as he wrapped his arms around Kate and placed his hands over hers.

"I love you" he whispered in her ear.

"Me too" Kate smiled.

**- The End -**


End file.
